Using an “A” List and a “B” List for Your Destination Wedding Invitations

Hi there!

I’ll have to keep this short and sweet tonight because I need to get some sleep!  And it may be a couple of days before I can write again because I have a fabulous wedding this weekend at Hacienda Tamarindo (where I got married) and I have to be up bright and early to prep for the wedding rehearsal and the big pig roast beach party the bride and groom are throwing for their guests before their private tour of the bio bay.  So let’s have a quick chat about structuring your destination wedding guest list in a manner that won’t offend people you care about.

In recent years, some wedding experts have advocated the “A” and “B” list approach to guest lists.  This means that the couple knows they can only afford to have a certain number of guests, so they send out invites for that number and then plan to send out a second round of invites if enough of the first batch decline.

Does this work?  Sometimes.  It works if the people on the “B” list don’t know the people on the “A” list.  Otherwise, you’re totally busted.  Spots on the “B” list should be held only for people who live far away or work colleagues (but only if they’re all on the same list) or old friends you feel like you have to invite because they invited you to their wedding several years ago.  You can’t use the “B” list for good friends, family members (not even distant cousins), or neighbors.

Think carefully before you split your list up — be sure you don’t set off a very negative chain reaction.  If there’s any way that guest could find out they got their invitation as a second round or afterthought, don’t do it.  There’s no difference in how you handle this for a home wedding or a destination wedding on an island.  In both cases, good taste and courtesy apply.

Okay, I’ve gotta go paint my nails now.  Can’t have a wedding planner running around the island with funky nails, and I chipped one today tying itty bitty bows on baskets for the bride.  Please wish for good weather and a fabulous wedding for Lauren Connor and Matt Durden on Saturday!

Happy Wedding Planning from Weddings in Vieques!


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