How to Pick the Perfect Bridesmaid – Guest Blog by Hannah-the-Intern

Hello Readers!

It appears our intern Hannah has learned a LOT about wedding parties in the last couple of months and she has some good advice for newly engaged brides as they assemble their bridal party.



Hannah Kaufman is an intern from University of Wisconsin, here for the winter wedding season at Weddings in Vieques

Hannah Kaufman is an intern from University of Wisconsin, here for the winter wedding season at Weddings in Vieques

As a girl meets people in her life, she starts to mentally assign the worthy spots in her wedding party. It typically isn’t hard for a bride to pick her bridesmaids. There are the bridesmaids she’s known since she was little and the bridesmaids she has just met.

It may be a no-brainer for a lot of brides, but for others, it’s serious business. Those brides know choosing their bridesmaids will impact their weddings a lot so it is important to choose wisely. It is good for a bride to be aware of the different types of bridesmaids before selecting them so she can be as stress-free as possible on her big day!

Let’s first start out with a list of three kinds of bridesmaids a bride SHOULD BE on the lookout for, and then we will move onto the type of bridesmaid to AVOID.


  1. Already Married

If a bride has a close friend that has already gotten married, she’s in luck! This friend already knows the drill. She has the feeling of “been there done that,” which works in the bride’s favor. An already married bridesmaid has had her day to shine and understands what the bride is going through. She already knows how stressful the big day can be so she sits back and lets the bride have her day.

  1. Younger Sister

This next bridesmaid is another keeper. Not to toot my own horn, but as a younger sister with two older sisters, I know would do anything to please them, especially on their wedding day. For this reason, a bride should make sure to include her younger sister in the bridal party. Having a younger sister as a bridesmaid is the way to go because the younger sister wants nothing more than to see her older sister happy. A huge bonus is that the younger sister knows all of the bride’s family and guests so she can help manage any crisis.

3. Wanna-be Wedding Planner

If a bride is friends with a wedding planner (or wanna-be wedding planner) it could be very helpful to include her in the bridal party. A wedding planner can be a lot of help because she has done her research and has attended numerous weddings so she has a lot of experience. She can come up with creative solutions in a jam and is willing to do the dirty work because she loves anything and everything wedding related. Just make sure she’s clear on how much authority you’re actually giving her before things get started.

Now on to what kind of bridesmaid every woman should avoid. The expression “always the bridesmaid, never the bride” happens to a lot of women. But if it’s made a friend bitter, beware!

A selfish bridesmaid should be avoided like the plague! She thinks the world revolves around her and let me tell you, selfish bridesmaids are not a rare breed, and sometimes come in packs. They take up too much time with the hair stylists and makeup artists, and complain constantly to the bride about inconsequential things.

A selfish bridesmaid always wants a splash of drama. Actually, let’s be real – she wants a tidal wave of drama! Instead of being supportive like most bridesmaids are, some bridesmaids have to pick apart every detail. A selfish bridesmaid tends to make snide remarks about minute details of the wedding, from the color of the flowers and cake to the makeup and hair. It is always a disaster when a bridesmaid convinces the bride that something is wrong. Even if something is a little off, a bridesmaid should not voice her opinion if it’s going to send the bride into a stress coma.

For example, every woman has different hair; therefore the time it takes a stylist to do each bridesmaid’s hair varies. It is important for the bridesmaids to realize that beforehand, otherwise it can create problems for the bride during the hair appointment or even after the wedding.

At a recent wedding, a bridesmaid sat there getting her hair done for over 2 hours, which may I add, was double the time the bride took. Of course, the bridesmaid came out looking fab with an intricate up-do, but really? Honey, it’s not your day and just be aware, you are going to have to pay for all the time it took to get your hair looking like that and even though it would be hilarious, the bride is not going to be happy when you quote Bridesmaids and say, “Help me, I’m poor!”

Now don’t get me wrong, a lot of bridesmaids are heaven-sent angels which is a coincidence because the most supportive wedding party I’ve seen was wearing all white!  This group of girls were nothing but supportive to the bride. They kept their mouths shut when appropriate, complimented the bride, and kept their friend from stressing out more than she should.

The big day only comes once so it is important for a bride to be careful of which ladies she is giving the bridesmaid title. She should keep a look out for friends who are already married, younger sisters, wanna-be wedding planners, or just any genuinely nice friend she has in her life.

Be smart and choose wisely! And remember, you really only need one.

Hannah Kaufman

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