Kendra-the-Intern Dishes on Wedding Guest Gossip – Don’t Leave Your Common Sense at Home

Today’s guest blog is from Kendra-the-Intern.  She’s visiting Weddings in Vieques from Miami, Florida, this fall and is a seasoned blogger.  Enjoy!


Coming into this internship, I tried (as best as I could, for this unique situation) to mentally prepare myself for the overload of work I knew I’d be given. I have a background in journalism, so I know all it takes to be on a constant deadline and be thrown into chaos when your source – or in this case, the client – can’t get it together.

kendra's first weddingNow that I’ve done a few of these wedding weekends, I can honestly say the wedding planning part is relatively manageable compared to the general conversations I found myself privy to as I mingled and worked amongst the guests for three days at a shot for each wedding. I NEVER expected to overhear or participate in the crazy conversations and general inappropriateness that came from the wedding guests. You know, the people who are supposed to love and support the couple getting married.

I’m not an etiquette teacher, and this isn’t charm school, but there are a few common sense tips you should follow when it comes to wedding chatter – because remember, the more of those signature martinis you drink, the louder you get:

– TMI – No one needs to know every indiscretion you’ve had in your past. Nor do they need to know about the bride and groom’s past love affairs or disasters. Save those confessions for your priest. During a previous wedding, one of the guests found it necessary to inform our entire team of some of his previous life activities that weren’t necessarily dinner table conversation.  It was AWWWWKWARD beyond belief, but we were sort of trapped – at least we were trapped together (including Bill and Andy). That’s still not okay. Keep personal information personal.  I understand wanting to cut-loose, but if that liquid courage is getting to be too much, it’s okay to switch to water. You won’t be a party-pooper. If anything, you’re probably saving yourself from further embarrassment. At the very least, don’t feel the need to confess every stupid thing you’ve ever done to random strangers.  Lots of people can hear you and you’re probably embarrassing the bride and groom.

– Host Gossip – If a bride or groom is kind enough to invite you to their special day, it might be a good idea to keep the gossiping to minimum. Even if you don’t approve of the couple’s decisions, their wedding reception is not the proper place to discuss it.  Standing off to the side making snarky remarks about it being her third wedding to the wedding planning staff if not good manners.  Hooking up with another disgruntled plus-one to share negative opinions should also be discouraged.

– Hookups, Breakups, and Makeups – A wedding is NOT an open meat market. Attendants, other guests, wedding planners, and staff are not there for your viewing pleasure. It’s okay to want to have fun with other people. However, there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. It should be obvious, but I’m going to mention it anyway: It’s never okay to invite the wedding planner back to your hotel to “get loaded.”  It’s great that you want to share the love, but it’s just not appropriate. Alternatively, fights are not acceptable. If you and your significant other or another guest are having a disagreement, don’t have an all-out war in the middle of someone’s party. That will just lead to you destroying what was supposed to be a joyous day, and a quick escort out. I was told a story about family members who engaged in a physical confrontation over who would go home first. When it was all said and done, all they did was ruin the bride’s special day.

– Toasts – When speaking to a large audience, it is important to note that everyone has a different opinion of what is and what is not offensive. Recalling that one time you and the groom were “wasted” in college probably isn’t going to go over well with the older crowd. Be mindful of what you’re saying. Remember that everyone has a video phone and this will be a memory the bride and groom will have forever.  If you have already been “over-served,” keep the toast brief and to the point.

Yes, you’re on a getaway, and you should want to throw all caution to the wind, to some extent. Don’t forget to pack your common sense along with your bikini.  Believe me when I say that the bride and groom weren’t expecting their friends and family to bring along all their dirty laundry to share too.  Remember, the airlines charge you for overweight baggage!


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